Transcript:
Why are you becoming an Ambassador for ADHD UK?
I’m becoming an advocate for ADHD UK because I was recently diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year at the age of 27 and from my diagnosis to now I find that I haven’t been able to find enough awareness and support for ADHD. So I’d like to become an advocate just so I can just help spread exactly what are the facts of what ADHD is.
Tell us about your diagnosis journey.
With my ADHD diagnosis, it kind of started because I was very frustrated in lockdown that I wasn’t able to complete any projects that I had during a time when we had all the free time in the world. Contacting my GP wasn’t the most helpful, they just suggested that I might be depressed again because of previous a diagnosis of that. It was when I was in work that I was talking about something else unrelated, I was just talking and talking and talking and having three conversations in one. The person I was with, she just asked me politely, ‘do you have ADHD?’ And I was like ‘no. Why do you ask?’ And she said ‘I think you have ADHD. So I said ‘okay, how do I find that out?’ She was very kind to send me a link later after work with a standard test, like 15 or 20 questions, which then would give a score at the end and a general review. At the time, I think I scored 43 out of 50. So it said ‘very likely to have ADHD’. So that was the start of that journey. If the person in work hadn’t said that, I probably would still be feeling very frustrated today.
From that online assessment I took, and having a follow up phone call with my GP regarding what at the time they might have thought was depression, I asked if we can talk about ADHD. In between those moments, I’d been doing research online, reading forums, watching videos on YouTube, understanding that all these little faults of my life are very related to ADHD. It was very interesting to see that there was a lot of things I could relate to. It wasn’t just one or two things, but 99% of the time it was like, ‘Oh, that’s what I deal with’, and ‘this is what I can do’. It was really interesting to have this whole other world that I wasn’t aware of, dealing with the same annoyances I had to deal with on a day to day basis.
So, from the conversation with my GP, they didn’t sound entirely convinced about my possible diagnosis. They did run through a series of standard questions asking about childhood, school, adult life. Then, I was given a referral to an ADHD specialist that happened to reside within my town. It took then many months just to wait for a letter to come through saying I want to have this diagnosis. Then I had to wait more months just to finally have the official phone call. So the time from that first phone call with the GP to say, ‘I think I have ADHD’, to what would then become my diagnosis phone call with the ADHD specialist, was about 8 to 9 months. From what I understand, that is actually shorter than the average, so I was quite fortunate that I was able to go through this process a little bit easier on my end.
When it came to the diagnosis, it was an hour and a half to 2 hour long phone call. The doctor asking even more specific questions, going literally from the day I was born to the day we were having that phone call; everything was talked about. I had pre-emptively written notes beforehand, just to think back and reflect on where I struggled. As an example, in school I was never a bad student, but I always did the homework at the last minute. It’s not like I was procrastinating playing video games, I would just sit at my desk feeling awful, not doing the work that I wanted to complete. So it’d be those kind of examples of life. I went from primary school to college to university to work, and how work has affected me or at least believed it affected me at the time. We then did a similar standardised test to the initial test I did with questions such as ‘are you tired constantly?’, ‘do you get distracted?’, and ‘are you thinking about something else when someone’s talking to you?’
At the end of the phone call, the doctor officially diagnosed me. I’m not going to lie, I did actually well up and get a bit emotional just because it really was so surreal to get lot of answers as to why, while I know I’m very creative and very ambitious, I was never able to push myself further, and see the results that I expected. It always felt like there was something holding me back and I didn’t know really what it was. It’s not to say that this is just down to the ADHD. I know I have my own disciplines I got to overcome, but it was so relieving to have that wall broken down so I can now keep pushing forward and keep working towards bettering myself.
What would you like to tell people generally about ADHD?
The main thing I would like to talk to people about is how my brain functions in comparison to theirs. There’s this stigma that everyone ‘has a little bit of ADHD’, and ‘everyone gets distracted’, and ‘everyone procrastinates’. But I think they don’t truly understand how frustrating it is that, while everyone has bad days, even on my good days, I’m still not able to fulfil my goals for the day, even if it’s as simple as brushing my teeth twice a day. I really have to drum it into my head that I need to brush my teeth. It only takes 3 minutes but something else will suddenly come to mind. If I’m walking to the bathroom, suddenly I’m like, ‘Oh, well, I’ll go downstairs, make a cup of tea’, and I’ve suddenly forgotten what my original plan was. It can be very draining because you’re constantly having to think about what it is you want to do. I think if more people understood the hoops that we have to jump through to do basic tasks and that we never have any bad intentions would just be really appreciated.
What would you like to tell your employers about your ADHD?
Before my diagnosis, I was kind of a clumsy person and I would make small, careless mistakes that could be disruptive to the flow of the places that I’ve worked. It’s been different now because I’ve been diagnosed; I’m working for myself so it’s been very be kind to myself. I understand why I’m doing this and I can move on and fix any mistakes I make. Before that, those mistakes were affecting a whole team of people. I’d feel shame if I made some really silly mistake that could affect everyone else, and I would not really understand why I had made the mistake.
It’s hard for me to say now what I would do because I’m working for myself, but ifI was working within a team again, I still feel like there’s this worry that if I mention ADHD, they’d assume I might be more prone to mistakes or problems along the line. I would like employers to know I am more than capable of doing the task is at hand, I just need that little bit of breathing space. If there is a problem that I actually caused, allow me to solve it. I think work has gotten a little bit too quick; the issue I find with working at the moment is everyone just wants everything now. And unfortunately for me, I need to slow it down a little bit, otherwise mistakes might happen.
What would you like to tell your school about ADHD?
I think a general understanding of ADHD is necessary to remove some of that negative stigma because there’s so much positivity that kind of comes from ADHD. There is so much more you can get with someone with ADHD. On my own personal experience of it, I feel I have a lot of strong qualities that I now understand are because of my ADHD. If we could just be more open about it, we will be able to get a lot more from it. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood so I wasn’t supported during school. If I was going to schools now, I would like for them to understand that the child doesn’t have to be misbehaving; they don’t have to be out of control. I wasn’t a bad student in any way. In fact, I was very eager to learn in primary school. I was so focused on certain subjects, but then not focused on other subjects. I’d do well in math because I loved it, but barely do anything in English because I wasn’t interested in it. I was always very kind of mediocre C grade student, and the amount of times I was told that ‘you can do better’ and all that stuff. No one really understood. There were definitely warning signs when I’m thinking back now and I really wish they had a way of picking up on them. I think getting the conversation as soon as possible is so important for everyone involved. That way everyone can just be more aware of it.
What would you like to tell the NHS about ADHD?
The number one thing I’d like to say is that after getting the diagnosis, I still felt very alone. Once the diagnosis was given, I was just given medication and continued with my life. There were no documents to help me better understand what ADHD is. There was nothing to give me any of tips to help me change how I live my life. It just felt very isolating, and it was only after finding support groups that I was able to get a bit better at living with it. The sad thing was that I asked my doctor on our monthly phone calls ‘what support can I find?’ The support links that they provided sent me to a dead website. I wasn’t told about this charity, for example. I had to find this charity myself to see what it offers and see how helpful it can be. The fact that I had to do that myself, I think that needs to be improved. Once you have your diagnosis, that information needs to be that ready for you.
What would you like to tell your friends about ADHD?
Being diagnosed with ADHD has made me a talking point for the subject among my friends. I’ve been able to ask of them to understand or maybe adapt to kind of help me. They’ve always been very supportive and very loyal, and like the best people I know. When I talk about ADHD to my friends, a couple of them have realize themselves the similarities between my childhood being undiagnosed and their childhood. They ask me every now and again different things. They ask about medication and about how the medication may help them. It’s not like my entire personality is talking about ADHD.
If you had a magic wand, would you entirely remove your ADHD? Keep it all? Or just remove parts?
I don’t know. There’s a short answer. Because I was diagnosed at 27, I don’t know what my life would be like if I was diagnosed at ten years old, for example. I’m still kind of new to it as I only got diagnosed recently. The most positive aspects of ADHD which I now use to my strengths is my creativity and my focus on it when I’m allowed to focus on it. Sometimes my brain is just like, ‘Nah, not today.’ And those days stuck. If I had to give rid of anything about ADHD, it’s days where my brain is just like, ‘You’re not doing it.’ It’s like I’m fighting against myself just to not jump to any distractions that are in the house. But when it comes to the positive parts; I love my creativity, I really do think I think outside the box- I keep myself entertained in that way. I do very much like to take a concept and just absolutely like twist it on itself and just see what the response is on that. Now that I have a better understanding, I am taking steps to at least make the most of those days.
Tell us about one of your favourite ADHD strategies.
The biggest thing I’m doing right now in my life is sorting out my finances. One of the things I found out was a big part of ADHD was what is referred to as the ‘ADHD tax’. This can come down to impulse spending or buying stuff that has a short shelf life and you forget to use it. Bits and bobs like that that really add up over time. To help with that, I have moved all my pay that I get from my job into a Monzo Bank account. The effects of it have been so immediately positive because I’m able to make all these little pots and these little mini bank accounts within my main one that I can just as soon as I get paid, it just automatically distributes. I pay my salary into various pots: the main one would be taxes, my bills, my car insurance or Spotify account. All from the main ones to the more fun ones. And then I also have other ones that are just holidays, presents, video games. It all just get separated like that and it’s so wonderful. It’s been so much easier for me, especially because of the impulse buying. It’s allowed me to just take a breath, look at where I’m at financially and make the correct choice.
What’s the worst thing that has happened to you as a result of ADHD?
I can only say it as a hypothetical because of the diagnosis at age 27. I can’t help but think ‘what if I was diagnosed earlier?’ For the many negative parts of my life, both big and small, I can confidently say ADHD contributed to them. Having a diagnosis sooner could have helped me now, but there is no such thing as a time machine, so I can’t go back in time and change that. So all I can do is just think forward and that’s really it. Just keep learning and keep understanding, see what works for me and keep growing from there.
What’s the best thing that has happened to you as a result of ADHD?
Having this diagnosis has had such a positive effect on me over the last year or so. It has massively improved my mental health and my work ethic by being able to adapt my work now. Having that diagnosis was the best thing. It’s been so good to find support groups to be able have actual conversations about really niche things that go wrong in my life and having someone understand has been really nice. I’m hoping to meet more people in the future. One of the things I’m hoping for is that because of my dialog about ADHD to my friends and my family, this is going to create a chain reaction that they might want to look into it themselves and see if they might need a diagnosis and then they can get that help as well.