Hi, I’m Paul, I’m 55 and my life has been shaped by ADHD in so many ways; it was just that for most of it I wasn’t aware that’s what it was. In fact, I became so adept at hiding it, most people who knew me had no idea either.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, school was hard. The comments were predictable, “bright but, could do better,” “always distracted,” “you’ll never amount to anything.” I left without finishing formal education and spent years with a vague sense that something was wrong with me, but no real idea what. I felt like the proverbial square peg in a round hole.

I went on to build successful careers. But it took far more effort than it should have. I found environments where I could mask, carved out as much autonomy as possible, and pushed through. From the outside, people probably saw drive, ambition and success. From the inside, it was relentless noise and turmoil. My ADHD presented as risk-taking, and a constant restlessness I couldn’t explain or shake, without a beer or three!

I met Tina, my wife, in my early twenties. She accepted me, challenged me, and stood by me through times that weren’t always easy. Parenting brought enormous joy but also intense anxiety. By evenings and weekends, I was usually spent, exhausted and overwhelmed.

In my mid-thirties I hit a wall. A complete shutdown. I lost about 18 months trying to understand what was happening, depression, anxiety, and misdiagnosis. I rebuilt and got back to work. 

But years of chronic stress eventually caught up with me. At just 45, I suffered a heart attack. Before, during and after, at every appointment, and consultation, not once was ADHD mentioned, even as a possibility.

It was only years later that I properly understood ADHD had been the thread running through all of it. The impulsivity, the burnout and the overwhelming effort just to keep functioning like everyone else, who seemed to manage without really trying. Equally, I recognised the ideas, vision and creativity that had served me well in my career.

That understanding came from an unexpected source. Tina retrained as a mental health nurse, partly to better understand what I’d been going through. Her work led her into neurodiversity, and eventually we founded our own ADHD and autism clinic together, built on the idea, that people deserve to be properly seen, heard and understood.

Every day I speak to people who are where I once was. Confused, exhausted, wondering whether something is genuinely wrong or whether they just need to try harder. If I can offer some clarity, that matters to me. ADHD UK has always been an organisation we recommend without hesitation. Becoming an ambassador means a lot.

I want to advocate for people with ADHD, and for the people who love someone with ADHD. I know how wearing it can get. I know what years of being misunderstood costs. If sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, or shifts one conversation from judgement to understanding, it’s worth doing.