Transcript:
Why are you becoming an Ambassador for ADHD UK?
I’m becoming an advocate just because public awareness and a genuine understanding of ADHD, especially in adults, is lacking in the UK. I feel like having a more understanding environment where people know how to support someone who has ADHD would be such a big step to helping mould that environment.
Tell us about your diagnosis journey.
I would say it was more the sort of retrospective journey. I suppose the path to me getting there was I had other mental health disorders and issues. And that is sort of a symptom of having undiagnosed ADHD. That was one of the things that really sort of indicated that it could be a possibility. I saw other people’s experience of ADHD, like self-esteem and being sensitive to criticism, and those really resonated with me. It just sounded familiar. And then I just kept seeing very specific scenarios that people with ADHD had happen to them daily. And I was like, that’s really specific and this set off alarm bells in my head. So I decided do a bit more research and then obviously looking at the NHS website symptoms and then looking at more sort of blogs and things like that as well, looking at other people’s journeys and realizations. The fact you can have co-morbidities as well as a result of ADHD, I was like, this is all making a lot of sense. So then I eventually went to my GP, did the right to choose pathway to get the appointment, which was about seven months wait time. Luckily, I was a bit ahead of that massive realization so I was able to get my appointment quicker.
The impact of ADHD and resultant risk of suicide is an important topic. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?
I wouldn’t say directly suicidal thoughts but one of the things I mentioned was that I did suffer, or do, suffer from depression and depressive episodes. My self-esteem was very low as a result of me not meeting my expectations, and the expectations of people close to people along the academic path who knew what I was capable of, but just thought it was a lack of trying on my part. That vicious cycle continued until very recently, really. I would say I didn’t actually have thoughts of ending my life, but thoughts of ‘it didn’t matter whether I’m here or not’. I definitely had thoughts like that.
What would you like to tell people generally about ADHD?
First of all, it’s not just a learning disability. Even before I did my research, I just thought of it as something that is mainly predominant in kids, is mainly affecting your academics and is mainly affecting how hyperactive you are. But it affects all areas of your life and it’s something that is chronic. It’s not something that you can sort of do a quick fix for. You should give grace to people who have it, even when it inconveniences you. If you’re really going to be in a support system, you have to alter your expectations and really look into the fact that it’s a neurological disorder. Take, for example, someone with a physical impairment, you wouldn’t expect them to be able to do things ‘able bodied’ people, for want of a better word, would be able to do.
What would you like to tell your employers about your ADHD?
I’ve had a recent experience of unsuitable, reasonable adjustments being made and feeling like a burden for asking for more. So I’ll say again, very similar, this is something that maybe you don’t understand exactly how it impacts me, but making me feel like a burden for asking for things, or not being able to fulfil certain requirements that I need, that is not being inclusive. Employers think inclusivity just means being of ethnically diverse, and have gender diversity or LGBTQ diversity. But they also fail to make workplaces neurodivergent inclusive as well. I’m not saying you need to be an ADHD expert, I’m just saying that we need certain adjustment and please try and make that as easy as possible.
What would you like to tell your school about ADHD?
I think they need to be more vigilant and safeguarding needs to be neurodivergent inclusive. Not just looking out for behavioural traits. Also, someone doesn’t necessarily need to be failing for them to be impacted by something which needs help. Because my grades were never bad enough for someone to look at and think there may be a learning disability or something at play, I suppose that’s why my ADHD was not picked up. You should develop more avenues and be more flexible in your thinking and change the stereotypical view of ADHD.
What would you like to tell your university about ADHD?
There’s such a lack of understanding of how you can actually help someone with ADHD. There aren’t many effective adjustments other than, say, extra time for an exam or an extension of a deadline, but that is just delaying the problem. It’s not actually helping them. I don’t feel that we have things in place that can really have a meaningful impact and the onus would still be mainly on me to make those adjustments for myself. That’s not to say I shouldn’t take any responsibility to help myself. Of course not. But if I did ask for help, they would sort of put me into the sort of bracket of learning disabilities and not actually addressing all areas ADHD effects my life.
What would you like to tell the NHS about ADHD?
The process of diagnosing it and the process of applying for it, is not in itself neurodivergent friendly. It took me a long time to even send of all the application forms. It made the process so much longer than it needed to be and I could have had the appointment so much sooner. It was a long, drawn out, boring process. By not providing help to be able to get through that process seems a bit backwards.
What would you like to tell your friends about ADHD?
If I am late for things, if I am inconsistent with things, if I am more sensitive, etc., etc., this is part of who I am and I can’t help it. Even if I did suppress it, it was overall cause damage to me. And, some comments that you might make that you think are harmless are not actually, and they do stick. If I have shared with you that I have this thing, and this is what is causing this, etc., etc., and then you don’t even alter your behaviour or alter your expectations, it can be quite frustrating and feels like talking to a brick wall sometimes.
What would you like to tell your parents about ADHD?
My deficits aren’t thing that you need to fix, and you shouldn’t put more pressure on me to make me remember things or to make me change my way of thinking. Being solution based with this disorder is not helpful. Me being messy or untidy is not an indication that I need to be more responsible. This is just something that I do, and as long as it doesn’t put anyone in harm’s way or it’s not outrageously inconvenient, then surely that’s something that you can make an allowance for. There have been attempts to help, but these have been given with a neurotypical way of thinking.
What can you tell us about being an ethnic minority with ADHD?
As you’re combatting other privileges, having mental health on top is quite tough. But it gives me diversity of thought in that sense. I would say as well that in black households, or my household as I cannot speak for everyone else, there is less of an understanding of mental health and the way it affects you. I suppose the stereotypical view of ADHD is that it affect white men and white boys. People don’t think first of all, it affects women, and also that it can affect ethnic minorities and ethnic women as well. There are just so many different layers to it.
If you had a magic wand, would you entirely remove your ADHD? Keep it all? Or just remove parts?
I don’t think I would. People say when they start meds that you sort of struggle to know what parts are you and what parts are ADHD. So if I was to wave a magic wand, who knows what I would be like. Would I still have certain skills and would I still enjoy the same things that I enjoy because I have it. Obviously there are a lot of inconveniences, definitely, but overall I don’t think I would remove it. ADHD might have guided me to the path that I’m at now and I really like where I am right now so who knows where I would be if I didn’t have it.
In terms of what parts I would keep and what parts I would remove… I’d definitely remove the zoning out and the lack of motivation, and the tendencies to depression and anxiety. I would definitely keep my creativity, and I would say I’m very much a problem solver. I look at things very logically and I think that’s something that’s more of a tendency of people with ADHD. My ADHD has given me more emotional intelligence and I give people a lot more grace because it’s something that wasn’t given to me.
Tell us about one of your favourite ADHD strategies.
Having a lot of external prompts. Just sort of having a second brain on the outside…. you have to obviously set these things yourself but doing it at the time I know I’ll remember, and then having it remind you at the time you tend to not remember at the point you need to do it. For me, my phone is what I would say is my main way of remembering things. I know I use my phone a lot, so I know that getting a calendar and writing in a calendar would do nothing for me. Also, don’t try and force yourself into someone else’s idea of what productive looks like. Alter your habits into the way you would naturally do things. So, I would naturally use my phone and I’ve put reminders and calendars next to apps I regularly use.