Sarah Lavelle

Transcript:

Why are you becoming an Ambassador for ADHD UK?

I’m becoming an ambassador for ADHD UK because I want to de-stigmatize  ADHD  and educate people about ADHD. And I want to promote the positives of having ADHD, of which there are many.  And also I want to share my own stories about having ADHD, having a late diagnosis and hearing other people’s stories because I think that way we can support each other. And it just is a way of destigmatising it, educating people about it and inspiring people, you know, being somebody that can inspire others.  You know, because I’ve overcome my hurdles and my late diagnosis, and I feel like I’m living my best life. 

Tell us about your diagnosis journey.

I realised, after tutoring two young boys with autism, that they had a lot of sensory overload issues, and I really could relate to those issues. Noises, smells, how things feel.  I really identified with that. And so it was after that, that I started reading about neurodiversity and ADHD. And I didn’t think that I was autistic, but I really identified with what people were saying about ADHD. So that’s when I got a referral to my GP. And I was one of the lucky ones that managed to get a referral through the NHS.  And then I had to wait a long time to see a clinical psychologist and what became very apparent in my diagnosis journey was that I’d always been the same. I’d always been this hugely energetic,  um, child and people didn’t know how to sort of manage me in a way because they didn’t understand why. And, you know, I used to climb trees. I found it very difficult to come in after playtime at school and to sit down in one spot. And I think if people had known, you know, things would have been very different. So that’s my diagnosis. 

What would you like to tell people generally about your ADHD?

What I would like to tell people generally about my ADHD is that certain processes, certain ways of communicating and information sharing. It can take me longer than other people to understand emails, follow email threads. I need to have reminders about events so that I make sure that I have time to prepare for them and don’t get the time wrong or the day wrong.

You know, it’s so interesting how I think that I’ve read something and I have to reread it at least three times to be sure that it’s right.  I mean, in terms of ideas and concepts, I’m very quick, but it’s sort of an administrative process. So what I call it really, I suppose, and I think it’s identified within the world of ADHD is executive functioning,  that I have a particular way of dealing with administration and online communication, and it would really help if these things were in place. And then you know, it’s going to be a lot quicker and a lot easier working with me. 

What would you like to tell your employers about your ADHD?

Well, I spent a lot of my adult life not knowing that I had ADHD. So not knowing what to ask for and just feeling stressed quite a lot of the time and not understanding why I was stressed out in a certain situation.  And I had my diagnosis in 2019  and I worked in a collaborative team and we have a hot desk. 

We, you know, so that potentially could seem like not a great thing to do for somebody with ADHD, but what I discovered was if my desk was in a certain position in the office and I had noise-cancelling headphones, it was absolutely fine. And my boss, my line manager was really, really understanding. And she said to me, Sarah, you’re so honest and direct about your needs. 

You’re one of the easiest people I’ve ever managed because of that. And I think that’s the key. The key is asking questions from the point of view of the employer, not assuming anything about anybody who’s got ADHD. And then if you’ve got ADHD, you have to then become your own advocate because people have assumptions about ADHD. 

You know it’s largely based on a sort of young boy that didn’t sit down in class, which to some degree I fitted, except I was a girl, but it’s largely, you know, for me, it’s about asking questions and then coming up with solutions together. And then you can get, because we, I think we’re really hard workers and really motivated to do well, you know, that’s my experience of other people with ADHD, just that we sometimes struggle with fitting into organisations and admin processes. 

What would you like to tell your school about your ADHD?

Regarding schools and  ADHD, I think it’s really important that people within the teaching team and the support team, there are people that understand about ADHD  and understand also that everybody’s different.  And again, work with the parent, work with the child. And I know it’s difficult because class sizes are huge now. But really work with the child and the parent and the class to make sure that you understand where the child needs support.  Because the other thing about ADHD is if we can find something we’re really interested in,  there’s no stopping us.  And, you know, when I think about going back to my own school experience, when I was really little when I was at preschool nursery, we used to have these little beds where we could sleep and I never slept.  They used to get me to do things to tidy up the nursery. And I was thinking that’s exactly the right way to work with somebody with ADHD. If they’ve got surplus energy, help them to use that energy in a really positive way. Give them responsibility, make them feel, you know, that they’re valued, that not this is a bad thing that they can’t sit down, but actually if managed correctly can be a good thing. And I think that’s the key to it. If things are managed, you know, the things that the challenges are managed,  then you get access to all the good stuff about ADHD. 

What would you like to tell your university about your ADHD?

With universities, I think it’s really important if they’ve been told a young person has extenuating circumstances.  I think it’s really important that they find out exactly what those circumstances are. And if it is the result of neurodiversity, and in this particular case ADHD,  then how does that ADHD affect that student? And have that conversation and work with them on that. I know that, um, now that if you are registered, you can, you can get a mentor in university, but that also takes the young person to be an advocate for themselves as well. So I think it’s about making sure that you ask the right questions so that you can tailor things individually for that student to make sure that they go to see their mentor. If they haven’t got a mentor, show them how to apply to get a mentor and again, embrace it as a positive. I know one particular university when students get diagnosis,  they will celebrate. And I think that’s such a lovely way of dealing with it because I think if you get a diagnosis when you’re young, you know, the world’s your oyster. There’s so much. You know, that you can do, and there’s so much support, it’s just knowing how to access it. 

What would you like to tell the NHS about your ADHD?

Well, with the NHS, I think we’re dealing with a system that’s very, very underfunded.  I think we’ve got fantastic people working in the NHS,  but there’s far too many people needing a diagnosis for the availability. And again, I think it’s about being persistent,  reading up as much as you can about ADHD so you can then with the NHS is just being demanding and keep pushing and just not taking no for an answer, you know, keep asking for the help that you need,  because they just don’t have the resources at the moment, and I think it’s the person who shouts loudest gets help. And it’s hard for young people to do that, and it’s also hard for parents when they haven’t been through this system before. You know, the, you know, don’t be frightened of,  from the parent’s point of view, don’t be frightened of  asking for what you need.

And in terms of the NHS, it’s saying, listen, wherever possible, because sometimes it’s just about being heard.  You know, when you’ve got ADHD, it’s just about somebody saying, yes, I understand it’s difficult or certain things are difficult,  not that you’re just written off, but actually. You know, the reason why you might miss an appointment or get the time wrong, or, is not because you’re being difficult, it’s because you struggle with executive functioning. So, you know, so to me it’s about that. 

What would you like to tell your friends about your ADHD?

Tell my friends. Well,  my friends fall into two camps.  You’ve, I’ve got my neurodivergent friends.  And we all laugh about our ADHD  and autism and OCD  and we have a giggle and we can sort of tell each other when we’ve made a mistake or, you know, we can laugh about it to some degree and we share information.

And then my other friends, struggle more with the notion of ADHD and what it means. And with those friends, I have to be very clear and explain to them, this is exactly how it impacts on me. So if you could help me in this area, and then, you know, just in terms of timing of things, reminders. You know, one of the things that comes up for me is about, I like to have an arranged time to speak to somebody.  And some people just like to just phone whenever and if I’m concentrating on something I find it really hard to be interrupted.  I hate it. And they said, why can’t I just phone you, Sarah? And I said, yeah, because I can’t respond. Um,  and, uh, yeah, so I do like to have a time for call wherever possible. Yeah. So that’s me. 

If you could have a magic wand, would you entirely remove your ADHD?

If I had a magic wand, I would have liked to have had my diagnosis when I was a little girl,  because as a little girl I used to sit in my bedroom making picture books and I used to be drawing. I’ve got so many drawings that I’ve discovered in recent years and they were so beautiful and  you know, it was just because I was always getting told off at school. It was, it’s not really too much later. So I think that I realised this is what I should have always been doing, making picture books, ultimately. So for me, I would, if I had a magic wand, it would have to have had the diagnosis earlier, because then I could have got the right support and the right things in place.

And the things I really love about ADHD are being creative because I think that runs through all my neurodiverse friends. We’re all quite kooky and creative.  And the other thing is we’ve got a really funny sense of humour. I say funny. We have quite an absurd sense of humour. We laugh at the most silly things. And I really love that so I’d never change that because I think humor is really important. 

Tell us about one of your favourite ADHD strategies.

Fundamentally, the most important thing in my strategy is to have a routine.  And I always used to think, oh, I don’t need a routine. I’m a spontaneous blah, blah, blah person. But I think having a routine is really important if you’ve got ADHD.  So for me, the routine,  sleep is absolutely crucial, making sure that I get enough sleep and exercise because that really helps build up with the sort of surplus energy. And the other thing is diet, eating a protein rich diet. And I think those three things are the most important strategies in terms of managing my ADHD. 

What is the worst thing that has happened to you as a result of ADHD?

The worst thing that’s happened to me as a result of having the ADHD  I think was being given lots of negative labels at school.  I was like the naughtiest girl, almost naughtier than the naughtiest boy,  you know, the really, really naughty boy. And I was up there on a pile with the same number of punishments that he had. And, I was always given labels like too noisy, too sensitive, wouldn’t sit down. You know, too emotional, too this, too that. And, so for me,  that is probably the worst thing, because I’ve had to spend a lot of time training myself to think more positively about the qualities I have, and think, well, actually, sensitivity can be a good thing, because it means I can be sensitive to other people. And, you know, having lots of energy can be a great thing, but it’s just, you know, so for me, it’s overcoming the negative labels and relabeling myself as I became an adult.

What is the best thing that has happened to you because of ADHD?

Managing and getting to publish my picture book, Piff in the Puffle.  And I don’t think I could have done that if I hadn’t had my diagnosis,  because I wouldn’t have known how to ask for what I needed to help me in the process of completing what was a massive challenge.  You know, I’d written the story, the story came runner up in a national competition.

People said to me, Sarah, this is a great story. You know, we’ve got to get it out there. And it was with the support that I’ve got in the ADHD community, my ADHD coach,  and knowing the areas that I find difficult. So when I put a team together,  they knew how best to work with me.  And then it was launching it at the global conference  last year for ADHD UK.

That was probably one of my proudest moments and both my kids sent me cards saying how proud they were of me, and I’ve had such good feedback on it, so I think that’s probably one of the best  things  about having my diagnosis, and one of the best things that’s come out of having ADHD.