ADHD and Couples

WORK PRACTICALLY 

– Have thoughts, complaints or feedback? Write them out.
– Provide solutions; let your partner know what steps
they can take.
– Be prepared to follow up.
– Turn issues into an opportunity for growth and learning.

HAVE A ‘HUB’ OR ‘HUBS’

– Use a centralised space or spaces to store important items
or place lists of tasks, messages, etc.
– The hub should be somewhere obvious and often-used
such as a fridge door, an entranceway, a bathroom, etc.

USE LISTS (STOP US IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE)

– Of important items and where they are kept
– Of tasks that need doing
– Of important dates and/or social arrangements
– Of requests that have been made.
Try and include details important to an ADHD person – the time it
will take to complete, when it needs to be done by, etc.

PLAN, PLAN, AND MORE PLANNING

Provide clear explanations and legislate for forgetfulness. For example, a social arrangement:
-Where it is
-How you’re getting there
-Who might be there
-When you’ll expect to return
-What your expectations are

EDUCATE YOURSELF

– The ways in which ADHD affect behaviour
– ‘Reasonable adjustments’ which may need to be made such as scheduling face-to-face time to discuss issues, what is meant by and how to actively listen, following up on issues raised, allowing for failures and false starts, and providing solutions.
– How ADHD affects the non-ADHD partner
– How ADHD may affect thinking to frame the possible as impossible.
– Co-morbidity. (Conditions which commonly exist alongside ADHD such as depression and anxiety)
– To enable separation of the person from their diagnosis or symptoms

BE A PARTNERSHIP

– Encourage positive habits
– Acknowledge growth and positive change
– Explore treatment options and tools for change together
– Communicate your emotions clearly and honestly, and
provide solutions.
– Accept and embrace each other’s imperfections.
– Accentuate the positives

Couples that communicate grow.
Couples that grow together stay together.