Josie Sedgwick-Davies

 

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Transcript:

 I bet you already knew about my houseplant obsession, how they’re all called Jean, and they’re my most prized possession. But how about the fact that if you come round to mine, we are gonna watch The Lion King for the 10,000th time? You think that’s odd and a little bit weird? See what happens if Simba disappeared?

People always say, You’re the life of the party! I’m like, I just like making mates, new docs to my Marty. It’s the worst day ever, but you’ll never see me frown. A constant ball of energy that you can’t put down. I’m funny and loud, and outrageously outgoing. And I do all sorts of good and bad without even knowing.

Jo, she’s always dead happy going 10, 000 miles an hour like a Duracell battery that never runs out of power.  I can’t keep a job, but what does that matter? As long as I’m bouncing off the walls like my usual selves, come on Tata. Tell me a story, go on. If you dare, the chances are I’m daydreaming thinking about Cher.

You believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say, crap!  What was I meant to do today? My friends truly love me and do you know how I know? They repeat what they tell me and say don’t worry about it, Joe. It’s always funny when I say something wrong, mispronounce a word or go on talking too long.

But deep, deep down in the pit of my tummy, I’m a little bit confused as to why people find this funny. Can’t book a train, let alone manage my own bills. I’m smiling on the outside cos no one must know it kills.  Sometimes I wish I knew how to make a decision. Like, do I want to watch X Factor or Bake Off on the television?

Neither. Neither. Ruined another relationship because I pushed him to the brink. It’s never them, it’s me, I always overthink. I dream, I dream of mine is to just watch a full movie. But no, I’ve got to move the living room around third time since Tuesday. It’s okay, because I’m funny and it’s a quirk. Haha, try to tell that to my boss at work.

Wait, that’s right, I actually don’t have a job because I probably got sacked due to my big gob.  That, or I just totally forgot that I actually have to go to work. But like I said, it’s a funny little quirk.  Do I want to go shopping or out for a meal? Do you have any idea how drained and stressed those questions make me feel?

I say things that I don’t really mean, but they just fly on my head and then I stress and I panic clean. And my house is gorgeous, because everything has a spot, because you know what? That tidy and zen and quiet time I’ve got, for a couple of hours every single day, cleaning and tidying, it takes the mess away.

And if I don’t do this, I will physically combust my house, like my brain will literally turn to rust. Sometimes I wish that just for one day, I could be normal like you. Like a flock of birds, these mad thoughts on my head just flew. Not that it’s all bad. I just get waked up with distress because life’s a little bit harder when you’ve got a brain that’s a mess.

Go crawl around your furniture and turn off your big light. And probably leave a scrunchie at your house, that sounds about right. And the perks, they’re here, but they can’t be found. Recite the Lion King from start to finish. Sound. I am obsessive, but creative, if you didn’t already know. People always say to me, I wish I had a weird ass imagination like yours, Jo.

And even though it’s tough, and people don’t understand, I’d rather be a bit crazy than absolutely bland. I’m lucky because I’ve found a place where this weird little ginger is fully loved and embraced. So I see it as a gift,  that’s been given especially to me. Because I wouldn’t be who I am, without my ADHD. 

See ya!